Weight Loss... A Mental Battle

I realized this morning how much of this life style change and weight loss is a mental battle. I've probably realized this before, but it hit me again this morning.

I went to 7-11 to get milk. As I'm driving there I suddenly find myself contemplating a chocolate donut. They have really good chocolate covered donuts at 7-11. I begin to tell myself that, NO, I don't want a chocolate donut. But yes I DO. My mouth/mind is wanting something SWEET.

I get there and try not to look at the donut case as I walk to the milk. I get my two gallons of 1% milk. I think, well, maybe a little something won't hurt if I can count the calories. So I go to the pastry section and start looking things over. I must have stood there for five minutes just staring at the different packages. What would be good and not too many calories? The Sarah Lee cheese danish? Not at over 500 calories! How about that cheese bear claw or the almond bear claw. The nutrition info is too small for me to read without my reading glasses. I put them down. How about a poptart? hmmmm, a package of two is a serving and is 430 calories. Well, If I bought two packages and brought them home to share with the three kids we would each have 215 calories. No, two of my girls are struggling with weight, I shouldn't encourage bad food. How about the hostess mini donuts? No, I don't want to eat a whole package for over 400 calories.

I sigh and walk to the check out counter. I am still craving something sweet. As if a final temptation to me, a cherry-cheese (one of my favorite combinations) bear claw is sitting on the counter among the bananas where someone left it. I make a decision. I grab a banana.

I realized as I drove home that if I was not tracking my food, I would have gotten a donut or a cheese danish. I wouldn't have considered calories or nutrition and would have convinced myself that just one wouldn't hurt. But because I am tracking my food and I knew I would have to count the calories, suddenly those calories weren't worth the brief satisfaction. I am going to a banquet tonight and I know there will be cake and I know I will probably have a small piece. I can't afford a 500 calorie indulgence this morning.

I ended up coming home and making some low fat chocolate milk to eat with my banana. That was 275 calories all together, I got a fruit and a dairy serving and my sweet craving was somewhat appeased.

This journey is a mental battle to change life long bad habits into new good habits that will be come the new lifelong habits. I appreciate www.Sparkpeople.com and the tools and "weapons" it provides to combat the bad habits and thought processes. At times, like this morning, I have the potential of being my own worst enemy on this journey. It feels good to have come out of this morning's skirmish as a victor.

One battle down... a life time of battles to go, but I can do it with the help of my God, my family, my friends and Sparkpeople!