My Auntie Di and Uncle Kerry

One year ago was the first Thanksgiving without Uncle Kerry. Two years ago, just a few short weeks after Thanksgiving he had a major heart attack and died almost instantly. When we were all together last year for Thanksgiving, it never occurred to us that we would lose another family member before the next Thanksgiving celebration. Auntie Di, Uncle Kerry's wife, passed about a month ago after a week in the hospital in ICU, her body slowly giving in to the Chron's disease.

Auntie Di, Uncle Arnold, Uncle Jeff and my Mom
Thanksgiving 2006

Uncle Kerry was a gentle giant. Even though he was about six and a half feet tall, he wasn't one to be in the middle of a crowd at the center of attention. He was always at the family gatherings, but usually off to the side or in another quieter room. Thanksgiving usually found him in the family room watching the football game. He was one that seemed to enjoy watching everyone else from the fringes. As the crowd from the day dwindled he would eventually come up to the living room and join the now smaller group of people for conversation and laughter.

Auntie Di, on the other hand, was usually in the thick of things. Even in her late 50s she could be found sitting cross legged on the floor if there were no available seating, in the midst of all the conversation. She was firm in her opinions and was never shy about sharing them. She loved a good joke or story and was either attentively listening to someone else or joyfully sharing her own. She loved her family and loved being in the midst of all the noise and chaos, even making a bit of her own.

They both loved the children. For the longest time my brother, Neil, and I were the only niece and nephew on either side of their family. Their son, Casey, is nine years younger than I and was the only cousin I had for about 26 years, until my Mom's two brothers began to have children. My Dad was an only child and my Mom was the oldest of four in her family, with 5 years between she and her sister. My brother and I were doted on by my Mom's siblings from the very beginning.

When I was baby and toddler I had a teddy bear with a hard plastic nose. Evidently, I would fall asleep rubbing my fingers on the plastic nose. Every child has a special blankie, stuffed animal or doll, and this was mine. We moved to Maryland from Massachusetts when I was just 2 years old. My mother's parents (my Nana and Papa) and siblings had moved to Maryland a year or so earlier. When we got to Maryland, somehow in the move, my teddy bear had been lost. Mom tells me that I was very distraught. Auntie Di, however, came to the rescue. A teenager at the time, she had in her large collection of stuffed animals a little blue and white bear that had a hard plastic nose and gave him to me. That bear is one of three stuffed animals that I still have, although today he is a faded gray and light green, with button eyes and wears a doll sweater and hat to keep his threadbare body from falling apart. He has been well loved!

Uncle Kerry married into our family, but since I was young when they were married it just seems like he has always been part of my life. I remember when I was in the sixth grade our class made model rockets. Knowing that Uncle Kerry was a member of a model rocket club, and built model rockets himself, I proudly showed him my work. He was very enthusiastic about my interest in model rocketry. He offered to help me build another one. He bought a kit, or maybe it wasn't a kit, I don't remember, but he bought me the supplies and helped me to build a second rocket. I was so excited when he and Auntie Di took me with them to Virginia for the weekend for a model rocket shoot. That weekend has always been one of the special memories tucked away in the back of my mind.

Another memory is that of going to Uncle Kerry's parents' home to see their town's fourth of July parade and for the combined fourth of July picnic and birthday party for his father which Uncle Kerry's mother always put together. One year my parents and brother were going to be out of town for Thanksgiving and I was staying behind. I don't remember why I wasn't going with them, maybe it was a Civil War related trip, but I do remember Auntie Di and Uncle Kerry invited me to spend Thanksgiving with his family. Uncle Kerry's family made me feel like a part of their family, and it was nice to be with family on the holiday. Another year, when I was in college, I drove with Auntie Di and my cousin Casey to Myrtle Beach to be with Nana and Papa for Thanksgiving. I liked traveling with Auntie Di because she treated me like a peer and not someone she was having to watch over.

When I graduated from college and was moving to North Myrtle Beach, it was Uncle Kerry who helped my Dad move me. It was like having two Dads wanting to be sure I was settled and safe.

While living in Myrtle Beach I learned to play golf, and when I came back Uncle Kerry often invited me to play with him and a few of his friends. Before I met my husband, Joe, I spent many Friday nights with Auntie Di and Uncle Kerry dancing at the American Legion. When Uncle Kerry wasn't dancing he was usually sitting in his booth or his place at the bar with a few friends, while Auntie Di alternated between sitting with him and making her rounds socializing with friends.

Uncle Kerry July 4th 2005

When Auntie Di died one of the first things my 9 year old asked me was, "What will we do on the fourth of July?" For the last twenty some years we have spent almost every July Fourth at my aunt and uncle's, where they carried on the tradition of the July Fourth cookout after the passing of his parents. Typically, Uncle Kerry would be in the background cooking the burgers, enjoying his family and friends from the fringes and preferring one on one conversation. Auntie Di would be in the midst of it all laughing and talking in the big circle of camping chairs gathered in the shade of her yard. The two of them delighted in hosting this annual affair. Uncle Kerry would put up whirly gigs, pinwheels and flags and set-up canopies for shade making the yard look festive. Auntie Di would purchase bottles of bubbles and balls and other inexpensive toys from the dollar store or the Oriental Trading Company for their granddaughters, nieces and nephews. There was often a big inflatable pool and/or a sprinkler going for the kids too. Recently, one of my cousins told my eldest daughter, "Auntie Di always made me feel special." I know what he meant. Ever since I was a little girl they both had a way of making me feel special.

It is still hard to believe that they are both gone. My Mom and Dad were very close to them as friends and they were often traveling companions. With her sister's death coming so close to the Thanksgiving holiday, Mom didn't think she would be up to hosting the holiday as she usually does, but then she decided that it was important for the family to be together. We had Thanksgiving, but it was simplified…our menu was BBQ Beef, coleslaw, baked beans, potato chips and tortilla chips with Mexican dip, and for dessert there was banana pudding and/or chocolate chip cookies. It was not traditional, but it was a delicious meal, and more important than the meal the family members that could be there were together. Unfortunately, we were missing two of my teen cousins who live in Texas, but everyone who was "local" was there. It was a good day of fellowship that Auntie Di and Uncle Kerry would have enjoyed. They were missed, but they were with us in spirit and I hope that Casey and his family were comforted by being with his mother's family the first Thanksgiving after her death.

I hope your Thanksgiving was blessed with good family fellowship too.

Catching up my Blog...

I must be one of the worst bloggers ever. Just like everything else in my life I am woefully inconsistent. The only thing I seem to be consistent at doing is being inconsistent!

But I haven't given up on having better consistency in my life. More on that later. For now, a lot has happened since the last I wrote and I will attempt to summarize my life since my Dad's surgery.

Mom and Dad did get to go to New Hampshire. We had a great time with them. Unfortunately, New Hampshire was having "unseasonably cool weather" that week. We went to the Weirs Beach at Lake Winnipesauke twice, but the older kids and I only got in the water the second time on our last day at the lake. But we all enjoyed the indoor pool, a day trip to Main to visit family, shopping, and playing games together. Dad wasn't his usual energetic self, but he did enjoy the week.

We got home from the trip and JL began back at Community College the Tuesday after we got home. She is going to a different school this semester, commuting with friends on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and really is enjoying it, though it is a lot of work for her. She is also getting in as many hours working at Target as she can. This semester she's taking English 102, Psychology 101, Children's Literature and Western Civilization II. Her history and English classes are her favorite.

I started JP and SJ back to school the day after labor day. This year they are doing Sonlight's Core 100, American History in Depth. We are using it for their history credit, English credit and Bible credit. (The Bible credit will also include Youth Group and Sunday School.) JP is finishing Apologia Biology while SJ is doing Globe Fearon's Pacemaker Biology. Both are participating in our co-op biology class. JP is also working on finishing Algebra II, a German Credit, and is getting shop credit helping his Dad to remodel our main bathroom. SJ is taking Improvisation, Choir and is on the Yearbook staff with our umbrella school. She also is working on math with Teaching Textbooks.

So I got them up and running that first week and then that very first Friday in September Joe took me to Colorado for our 20^th wedding anniversary! What a wonderful week! We were gone for a whole week staying with his brother, Jim, and Jim's wife, Mary who moved to Colorado about two years ago. We put over 1500 miles on our rental car! Jim and Mary's 21^st anniversary was the day after our 20^th, so we spent the weekend together exploring the mountains and stayed in a "green" Bed and Breakfast in Buena Vista. We went over several summits and passes, but the most exciting may have been Pike's Peak. I want to share more about our trip and may do so in a separate blog entry.

The kids kept up with their work while we were gone with the help of motivational rewards if they did and threatened grounding if they didn't. We came home and I dove into school.

Joe and JP were ready to dive into finally getting our bathroom remodel begun. They had demolished the bathroom back in January, but stopped when it came to taking our baseboard heat out because then the rest of the house's heat would have to be turned off. When it began to get warm again we had swim team every Saturday for about 7 weeks. Then nothing happened and nothing happened. Joe wasn't sure what to do first and so he didn't do anything.

So the next thing you know its September and he still hasn't resumed the project. All these months we are a family of 6 down to ONE BATHROOM. I finally sat Joe down right before our Colorado trip, took out a large desk calendar I bought and asked him to brainstorm with me. I helped him get his thoughts organized and he finally felt he could begin. Wish I had done that with him back in April or at least July! He and JP have been working fairly diligently, but as anyone knows who has ever done a major home remodel there always seems to be some new unexpected challenge to overcome. The wiring is done, we put in a new light with a vent, insulation has been put in and they are ready to put in the wallboard, tub and tub surround. Oh, and its cold and we have no heat…. (but thanks to a friend have some nice space heaters in the meantime.)

We've had our share of struggles too. Joe's Dad was doing so badly at one point with his Parkinson's disease and cancer that he had to go into the hospital and we were afraid we were losing him. Turns out they may have been over medicating him. We are so thankful to Joe's sister, Martie, a retired RN, who came out to visit and realized her Dad needed to be in the hospital. She was such a blessing to ALL of us, but especially to Joe's Dad and Mom. She stayed until her Dad was doing better and safely transported to a rehab center. He is home now and although not 100% himself is doing well.

My Aunt had been in and out of the hospital several times over the past two months. The last time she went in, about 10 days ago now, was the last. She had Crohn's Disease and related lung problems. My parents took her to Washington Hospital Center on Saturday October, 20^th and she went right into ICU that evening. By Monday her doctors were giving her a 10% chance but said not to give up hope, but by Wednesday she wasn't improving or getting better. On Thursday evening my Cousin and my Mom were told by the doctors that they would need to take her off her ventilator on Friday if there wasn't marked improvement. My Aunt died the afternoon of Friday, October 26^th very peacefully with my Cousin, his wife, my Mom, my Dad and my Uncle Arnold all around her bedside.

Last Tuesday was the viewing and today we buried my Aunt. The Pastor from my church, at my Mom's request, performed the service at Cheltenham's Chapel. He did a very good job.

This has been a very jumbled blog. That's what I get for not keeping up with it every few days. I haven't even touched on the fact that I've given up on the South Beach diet and have joined Weight Watchers, that our beloved Youth Pastor and his wife will be leaving for a new ministry or that I just started a new Bible study today…

If you've stayed with me this far you must be a good friend that is interested in my life or a family member that loves me or just a curious sort of soul. Whoever you are, thank you. Come back next week and see if I'm being more consistent and what I am or am not being consistent doing.

Blessings!